Identity Crisis

This is for all you mom's out there who, like me, deal with an identity crisis each and everyday.

I wasn't that girl who grew up dreaming and waiting to become a mother. I always knew that one day I wanted children but I wanted a great many things, a university degree (or two), to play volleyball at a university level, a husband, to travel the world, a fulfilling career, a home, a couple of life long friends, to run in a marathon, to learn out to make great food and pick a wine to match.

I've accomplished a lot of those things but somewhere along the path of life I've let go of most of the selfish things that I love to do in order to be a wife, mother and homemaker. I'd like to say that I have done this very graciously but I'm afraid I haven't.

I can (and do) still throw a mommy temper tantrum when I'm just fed up and want some time to myself to craft a cute DIY project.

Instead of changing diapers for the 12th time today I want to learn how to make a tiramiso or beef wellington, instead of the 5th load of laundry I want to tackle a slouchy toque pattern, instead of playing Cinderella and the step-mother for the one thousandth time I want to get back into shape and play sports without feeling like my body may implode (or explode) with one wrong move.

I knew having children would involve self sacrifice, I just didn't know how much.

A dear friend of mine once told me that with each child she has God uses it to strip away more of herself and to rely more on him. Slowly and surely my selfishness is being peeled away as I joyfully put my family above myself.

I am slowly and surely learning that my idenity comes from Christ. I am a daughter of the King, completely and wonderfully loved. He has given me a wonderful husband, 3 incredible children and a life so blessed I couldn't have imagined it for myself. My identity doesn't come from my latest project, travel destination, how clean my house is or how toned my body is (haha).

I am learning that even though I enjoy and am capable of doing a great many things I am living out my greatest calling from the Lord, to love and serve Him, my husband and my children, and to help them know how loved they are and where their identity comes from as well.

Praying that in your daily toil and struggles as a mom that you will know where your true identity is from too.